What do you do when someone gets hurt?

Jack Cafferty: You, sir, are a moron.

2009-11-23T13:17:00.000-08:00

Normally, I don't get too worked up over the talking heads that spout ether, regardless of network. I don't even listen to pundits on ESPN, prefering to form my own opinions slowly that risk regurgitating someone else's opinions out of haste.

However, today while waiting for other plans to develop, I was browsing the channels and stopped on the Situation Room on CNN in time to hear about Rep. Patrick Kennedy being denied communion by the Catholic Bishop of his home diocese. Reporter Jack Cafferty then weighed in with a rather opinionated view. In response to the up coming interview with the Bishop, Cafferty prompted the shows host to inquire why the Church is interfering in public policy...

Mr. Cafferty, your personal views on the issue and obvious bias has now come to light in a rather ugly way. Unfortunately, it distances you from the logical arguments of the issue.

One, if Rep. Kennedy sincerely believes that abortion is morally and ethically acceptable, that is directly in conflict with well known Catholic doctrine. Mr. Cafferty, your comments seem to assume that Rep. Kennedy is incapable of either altering his beliefs or choosing a church that is more complementary to his ethical views.

Two, the fact that a church is tax exempt as a 501(3)c organization should not hamstring them from taking actions that are in accordance with their stated governance. To insinuate that because they are tax exempt, churches should refrain from influencing public policy is ludicrous. Environmental, LGBT, healthcare and a plethora of other non-profit organizations have lobbying segments or are completely dedicated to changing public policy in their respective areas. Considering that Rep. Kennedy's choice of religion is a self-identified one, an organization that he chooses to participate in should not be criticized for applying it's own rules to a voluntary member.

Mr. Cafferty, thank you for showing your bias, I will definitely avoid your show in the future.

-DP

100 Must-Read Books: The Essential Man’s Library

2008-11-02T21:28:00.001-08:00

100 Must-Read Books: The Essential Man’s Library
The Art of Manliness

http://artofmanliness.com
Written by: Jason Lankow, Ross Crooks, Joshua Ritchie, and Brett McKay

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli
Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
1984 by George Orwell
The Republic by Plato
Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
The Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith
For Whom the Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie
Call of the Wild by Jack London
The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt by Edmund Morris
Swiss Family Robinson by Johann David Wyss
Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac
The Iliad and Odyssey of Homer
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
Walden by Henry David Thoreau
Lord of the Flies by William Golding
The Master and Margarita by by Mikhail Bulgakov
Bluebeard by Kurt Vonnegut
Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
Another Roadside Attraction by Tom Robbins
White Noise by Don Delillo
Ulysses by James Joyce
The Young Man’s Guide by William Alcott
Blood Meridian, or the Evening Redness in the West by Cormac McCarthy
Seek: Reports from the Edges of America & Beyond by Denis Johnson
Crime And Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky
Steppenwolf by Herman Hesse
The Book of Deeds of Arms and of Chivalry by Christine De Pizan
The Art of Warfare by Sun Tzu
Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer
The Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri
The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien
The Rough Riders by Theodore Roosevelt
East of Eden by John Steinbeck
Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes
The Thin Red Line by James Jones
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
The Politics by Aristotle
First Edition of the The Boy Scout Handbook
Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmond Rostand
Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller
The Crisis by Winston Churchill
The Naked and The Dead by Norman Mailer
Hatchet by Gary Paulsen
Animal Farm by George Orwell
Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs
Beyond Good and Evil by Freidrich Nietzsche
The Federalist Papers by Alexander Hamilton, John Jay, and James Madison
Moby Dick by Herman Melville
Essential Manners for Men by Peter Post
Frankenstein by Mary Wollstonecraft Shelly
Hamlet by Shakespeare
The Boys of Summer by Roger Kahn
A Separate Peace by John Knowles
A Farewell To Arms by Ernest Hemingway
The Stranger by Albert Camus
Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Dafoe
The Pearl by John Steinbeck
On the Road by Jack Kerouac
Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson
Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
Foucault’s Pendulum - Umberto Eco
The Great Railway Bazaar by Paul Theroux
Fear and Trembling by Soren Kierkegaard
Undaunted Courage by Stephen Ambrose
Paradise Lost by John Milton
Cannery Row by John Steinbeck
American Boys’ Handy Book
Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer
King Solomon’s Mines by H. Rider Haggard
The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky
A River Runs Through It by Norman F. Maclean
The Island of Dr. Moreau by H.G. Wells
Malcolm X: The Autobiography
Theodore Rex by Edmund Morris
The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
All Quiet on The Western Front by Erich Maria Remarq
The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane
Lives of the Noble Greeks and Romans by Plutarch
The Strenuous Life by Theodore Roosevelt
The Bible
Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry
The Maltese Falcon by Dashiell Hammett
The Long Goodbye by Raymond Chandler
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
The Dangerous Book for Boys by Conn and Hal Iggulden
The Killer Angels by Michael Shaara
The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin
The Histories by Herodotus
From Here to Eternity by James Jones
The Frontier in American History by Frederick Jackson Turner
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig
Self Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson

RE: Lonliness

2006-12-19T00:01:00.000-08:00

In response to Jasons post about "Loneliness"

I agree with Bryan (Comment found here)...

Lately, inspired in part by John Ortberg's The Life You've Always Wanted, I am trying to retrain myself to "train" instead of "try." By this, I mean that I am using each experience, in the context of your post, each connection, to better my understanding of the thing, and how to improve it for the future. Case in point: I had a hard time for a long time seeing girls here in Seattle as anything other than potential girlfriends. Definite barrier to a legitimate connection as the reality was that as long as I maintained that thought process, I would never get to know any of them well enough to date them. So I trained myself to literally see them as "sisters" in Christ. That is looking at them through the same eyes that I see Amanda. There was a dramatic change in my "connection" with them, resulting in me being much more empathetic to girls in general and not saddling them with all of my problems and preconceptions. This let me really get to know them, though I am still a bit slow on letting them get to know me. Ironically now I am faced with the challenge of contextualizing my relationships as the knowledge that I have and relationship that I have formed with two of them have really exceeded what is probably appropriate for a guy-girl non-dating connection.

Back to your issue at hand. I would say that a lot of the problems with people connecting are built on what Bryan said. There is an existing preconception of what a connection/friendship/relationship is supposed to look like in completion, when in fact; there is no completion, but rather a continuum of experiences. When people fail to see the continuum and don't aquire their preconception, they assume failure and cease to try, resulting in stagnation and a feeling of a lack of connection.

I think this continuum ties in tightly with my ideas on love, but more on that later.

I would also play around with the idea of the different types of connection. Emotional, rational, spiritual, etc. I think that our interpersonal connections may reflect the balance and proclivities of our souls in that respect and the best connections are on all levels, but I have said enough on this for this arena and Jason deserves a chance to respond.

Commenting On Sex Drive Daily

2006-12-18T21:58:00.000-08:00

This is what happens when your RSS feeds pick up random things... but as I am in the middle of reading "Pornified" by Pamela Paul, this was a good warm up on the subject that I think I will get more involved in.

Regina Lynn of Sex Drive Daily, one of the Wired Blogs wrote about the effect of the publicity of one of her posts. Apparently, it caused a backlash that lead Wapfly, a mobile media content provider to strongly curb the content of BowChicaMobile an adult affiliate of the media provision company.

Read about it here. While her article definetly had overtones suggesting that this was censorship, the comment section proceeded to run rampant. Take a look, as it got fun fast!

So true!

2006-12-17T09:44:00.000-08:00

"There are two types of people--those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am!' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'"
- Frederick L Collins

I said I would edit this with my thoughts so here goes...

I was trying to figure out which type of person I am and which person I want to be. This lead me to question which is actually better and I came to the conclusion that while the speaker implies the later to be the superior attitude, either can be appropriate. On self-reflection, I am definitely an observer who would comment about others first in most situations, even though my own interior monologue at the moment would be saying the opposite. It is almost completely a question of unpretentious self-assessment. For example, a performer unsure of their skill, suddenly pushed on stage, may utter under their breath, "Well, here I am!" and go on with the show, where as a parent who has spent the last half-hour searching Costco for their lost child, has been hear grumbling "Ah, there you are." Similarly, as God walked through the Garden of Eden after the fall of Man, He seemingly remarked "Ah, there you are." while due to their nakedness, Adam and Eve were very reluctant to voice the other sentiment. However, in order to receive restoration from that fall, there is a requirement to cease to attempt to patch ourselves and instead, present our brokenness and cry out "Well, here I am!" After which, having established a relationship with Jesus Christ, it is conceivable to say”Ah, here we are!" and push on towards the finish.

Insomnia

2006-12-16T03:14:00.000-08:00

its now 0314...

I need to go to bed...

I will go to bed.

I think...

E-Harmony thinks I should find her...

2006-12-16T01:42:00.000-08:00

Dennis's Compatibility Profile^® Summary

No person can be fully described or defined by a few short sentences. However, here are several of the most important characteristics revealed by your eHarmony Compatibility Profile that you should keep in mind as you search for your ideal mate:

Some of your ideal mates strongest personality characteristics are:

Some important qualities that your ideal partner brings to the relationship are:

Important goals and values for your ideal mate in a relationship are:

Social Orientation describes how much of your behavior is motivated by the desire to get along with and be liked by other people, as well as how much is driven by the desire to be seen as an effective problem solver who is self sufficient. People with a strong External Orientation place a high value on communicating their thoughts and feelings with other people. People with a strong Internal Orientation place a high value on individual effectiveness, competence and autonomy. The dimensions that we assess as part of your Social Orientation are Conflict Management, Character, Vitality and Security, Communication Style, Kindness and Autonomy.

Based on your profile, you are most compatible with women who fit the following descriptions:

Kindness:

Communication:

Some additional details about your ideal mate:

Character:

Autonomy:

Vitality and Security:

Conflict Resolution:

The Extraversion scale assesses how you feel when you are around people. Extroverts are generally comfortable at the center of attention. They rarely feel a need for "alone time" and are almost always eager to meet new people. Introverts, on the other hand, avoid the spotlight when they can, approach many social gatherings with hesitation, and relish time spent with good friends whom they know well. While most people exhibit a mix of Introvert and Extrovert qualities based on what kind of social situation they are in, people who are strongly Extroverted often place the largest value on having many friends and making new friends easily. In contrast, people who are strongly Introverted generally place the highest value on having a few very deep and meaningful friendships. The dimensions of your profile which are associated with Extraversion are Emotional Energy, Sociability, Adaptability, Humor, Romantic Passion and Dominance.

Based on your profile, you are most compatible with women who fit the following descriptions:

Romantic Passion:

Humor:

Some additional details about your ideal mate:

Adaptability:

Emotional Energy:

Dominance:

Sociability:

Openness refers to a person's willingness to experience new and creative ideas. People who score low on Openness tend to place a high value on tradition and belonging to a group. People who score high on Openness tend to place a high value on imagination and individualism. Extreme scores on Openness also often distinguish between people who enjoy thinking in symbols and abstractions to people who prefer ideas which are clear and concrete. The dimensions of your profile that we consider as part of Openness are Artistic Passion, Curiosity and Intellect.

Based on your profile, you are most compatible with women who fit the following descriptions:

Curiosity:

Intellect:

Artistic Passion:

Physicality separates people who enjoy being physically energetic and active from those who are uncomfortable or dislike engaging in sports or strenuous activity. Some people push life to the limit, scaling mountains or competing in triathlons. People with a less demanding sense of Physicality enjoy looking at mountains more than climbing them. The dimensions of your profile which compose the most important aspects of your Physicality are Appearance, Physical Energy and Sexual Passion.

Based on your profile, you are most compatible with women who fit the following descriptions:

Physical Energy:

Sexual Passion:

Appearance:

Goal Orientation refers to the drive to plan for the future versus the urge to live in the moment. People who score low on Goal Orientation are generally spontaneous and free spirited. They are likely to act on their first impulse and worry about the consequences afterwards and place a high value on being clever and lucky. People who score high on Goal Orientation, on the other hand, are more driven to think about future consequences before acting, place a high value on being wise and cautious, and like to always put their best foot forward. The dimensions of your profile that relate to your Goal Orientation are Industry, Ambition, Organization and Education.

Based on your profile, you are most compatible with women who fit the following descriptions:

Ambition:

Industry:

Some additional details about your ideal mate:

Education:

Organization:

While day-to-day events play a major role in our feelings, there are deep-seated patterns of emotion that underlie our personality and stretch across the span of our lives. These patterns are considered your Emotional Temperament. People who score high on Emotional Temperament are generally upbeat about life and are slow to get upset in the face of minor setbacks or disappointments. People who score low on Emotional Temperament are more likely to experience feelings such as anxiety, anger and depression on a regular basis. The dimensions of your profile that compose your Emotional Temperament are Mood Management, Self-Concept, Emotional Status, Anger Management and Obstreperousness.

Based on your profile, you are most compatible with women who fit the following descriptions:

Mood Management:

Self-Concept:

Some additional details about your ideal mate:

Emotional Status:

Obstreperousness:

Anger Management:

Many significant ingredients, like upbringing, family goals and spirituality combine to form a person's values and beliefs. Whatever form they take, your values are one of the most powerful determinants of your behavior. Values also play a large role in who we feel comfortable being around and who we find attractive. Dissimilarity in values generally causes discomfort or awkwardness in social situations. Although close friends, family and loved ones can often have one or two stark contrasts in their values, this is made possible by a greater number of shared values, backgrounds and experiences that provide a framework of comfort and similarity. When building an intimate relationship, establishing shared values early on is key to long-term success. The dimensions that we consider as part of your Personal Values are Traditionalism, Spirituality, Family Goals and Altruism.

Based on your profile, you are most compatible with women who fit the following descriptions:

Traditionalism:

Spirituality:

Some additional details about your ideal mate:

Family Goals:

Altruism:

Family Background:

Random Quote Book...

2006-12-15T22:25:00.000-08:00

So I have found my equivilant of Supermans weakness... Though in my case, instead of a green rock, its a small neighborhood bookstore with a really smart,cute girl who works there, right down the street from Starbucks AND Tully's. WHO KNEW MY WEAKNESS! Books, a crush and coffee all in one city block! Curses, foiled again!

And now for something completely different...

While browsing the kryptonian bookstore, I found the coolest book ever, well at least the coolest book that contains random literary quotes. Funny You Should Say That: Amusing remarks from Cicero to the Simpsons is a new fave, both hilarious and thought provoking. I think I shall be provoked to blog more frequently on some of them, if only for the laugh.

Example:

"The youth of the present day are quite monstrous. they have absolutely no respect for dyed hair." - Oscar Wilde Mr. Dumby in Lady Windermere's Fan, act 3 (1893)

Quit WOW for a while...

2006-11-28T22:27:00.000-08:00

I quit WOW... I was nominated for a guild officer-ship, which was an honor, but helped me to realize how much time I was spending in the game.

It was hard as I finally hit level 60 (The highest level) which is a requirement for all the end game content, viewed by many to be the best part of the game. Unfortunately it is also the most time consuming as quests and missions require 20-40 people to get together at one time to do them. This forces you into a certain schedule, up to 6 days a week 5 hours a day (Some professional guilds, yes, professional guilds raid 8 hours a day 5 days a week and between 12-14 hrs on weekends). This may or may not include time spent in game getting "consumables," items needed to put together potions or items that improve player performance in order to succeed in a particular mission or quest. I lay all this out to describe, in part a culture that has some participants, whose existence is greater in the game than it is in real life. This begs an interesting evangelistic question," How do you preach the Gospel to people so involved in a virtual reality?"

The religion in game is based on Light and Shadow, with demons and deities having a hierarchical relationship of superiority, traditionally determined by a cataclysmic showdown of force. There is no agape, no Christ in game. And while role playing is not a requirement, the constant saturation in pseudo-plot causes the mechanics and story to invade your consciousness. You may not "become" your character as you would in something much more insidious like Dungeons and Dragon's, but there remains an indelible imprint on some element of whatever you choose to call you, be it your soul or ego or consciousness.

I know some of my readers, either have played or continue to play WOW and I would like to hear what they have to say as well as those who observe players from a removed standpoint... Basically DISCUSS!

Endless incredulousness

2006-11-28T18:26:00.000-08:00

OK...
Is there something wrong with me that no one will tell me about, like some giant gorrilla that is sitting at the table during Thanksgiving dinner that no one talks about?

I mean, come on people! Why the heck can't I get a date? And I was asking her to the friggin' BALLET! It's the "Nutcracker!" Thats like uber-romantic, or so I am told...

Lemme fill in the source of my frustration... Last year about this time of year, a friend that I had been flirting with and talking to at work and I decide that we will actually take a go at an actual dating relationship. I am really jazzed and trying to be spontanious, thoughtful, and romantic, among other "prized" attributes, that I always hear that girls are supposed to be desiring. In hindsight, I may have gone over the top in that I bought her a black evening dress to go along for the evening (now I had checked with her peers, my female co-workers and various other female sources as to the wisdom of this idea).I was doing this all along the lines of thinking, "what girl doesn't like to get dressed up?" Another supposed girl thing, right?

What happens? Long story short, she stands me up a few hours before the actual event and I go by myself. Now don't get me wrong... I actually like the ballet, on top of that, I actually like getting dressed up. (I own three suits for exactly that, though I don't have many opportunities to use them). I had a great time, even though I was by myself.

Fast forward to this year, a few weeks ago. I decide to actually ask out a friend of mine from the Army, who is a Christian and goes to school near here. Same deal, I get the date set-up during a group outing to the Dead Sea Scrolls, but then when I ask her out for coffee she gives me the " I am really not in a place to be dating" line. Now, I don't really doubt her sincerity as she is capable of great introspection and may have found something that she really wants to work on before she engages in a dating relationship. Great... but, excepting that possibility, I am left with a horrible track record. I haven't "dated" in over 18 months, while being told that I am "going to make a great husband" and " I just haven't found the right one yet." Shallow solice for someone who has been through all the major venues of singles really available to me, church, school, internet, friends and networking, hell, I even tried the club scene while I was in Missouri. WTF am I supposed to be trying, the produce isle? (Artichoke hearts aside and country song's not withstanding)

Seriously, am I being deluded by society to think that women actually want a man who values communication, chivalry and virtue? That a guy who is quite comfortable watching and participating in dance, theatre and the arts while still being masculine enought to go pound down the hoops or toss the pigskin is appealing? How about one that knows how to cook and is willing to, opens the door for a lady, walks between a woman and traffic, offers his coat when she's cold? Damn, I live alone and I STILL put the seat down when I finish!

I admit freely that I am not Brad Pitt or McDreamy, but the fact that I listen to women and actually know who McDreamy is because I listen should get me some points, right? How about the fact that there is nothing that I would rather do than spend the rest of my life discovering the depths of a womans heart, with all its nooks and crannies, like the fact that she only likes Hershey's syrup on her ice cream when its raining, or that she has a special attachment to Troll figurines from her childhood, all the while knowing and discovering how the two of us reflect God's diametrical creation in each similarity and difference. I want to share my soul with someone and through that discover the intimacy that Christ seeks with his Bride, the Church.

I know the quips about "nice guy's finish last," but all I want to do right now is finish.

New Song...

2006-11-28T17:49:00.000-08:00

So I have discovered a few things about myself lately... So fittingly I decided that I would put them on "myspace."

One of these discoveries came after a night of searching, my new song from Secondhand Serenade... Yeah its emo and kind of mushy, but considering I spent about 4 hours browsing various musical styles and artists to find something that vaguely communicates how how I feel last night, this will serve until I find something better.

I like the TV shows "Scrubs" and "Grey's Anatomy" (Damn you and your good taste Jess!) though I blessed by being too disorganized to watche them consistantly.

I rearranged my apartment and it actually seems like I have a floor. That and all the empty boxes from moving have been broken down. Now all I have to do is find my key to my basement storage and finish moving them out.

I like clean laundry and it really clears up floorspace, but you already knew that.

I don't know what denomination I am yet, but have got an impressive list of what I am not...

Satan is really good at sabatoging a rapid individual spiritual revival. Using a combination of new discoveries and old habits, the best intentions are quickly brought to ruin. "Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner"

I am only beginning to understand the last line of the preceeding statement and I mean beginning the way that I am beginning to recite Pi completely by starting with "3"...

Back to the blog'o'sphere...

2006-11-27T21:03:00.000-08:00

Hello world, its been a while...

I feel like I need to come back here and begin to share what is going on because of sunday's sermon. I need to embrace my community and push for intimacy and transparency. But as I was wondering what I should write about, I am totally at a loss. Sure I could write about something intellectual and highbrow, something funny and full of wit, or some keen observation about my experiences over the last bit of time.

The fact of the matter is that I am much more preoccupied with how I feel at the moment. So lonely, empty and cold. Half of me wants to curl up and never see the world again and the other half wants to call some girl I know to be fast and easy (the fact that I don't really know any, but yet have a depraved side that would know exactly where to go online and what to say to talking to them), trying to get into her pants, in a desperate attempt to feel truely connected to somone. The reality is, I would fail at either and am instead left in a semi-detatched limbo. I have spent so much time pouring out of myself (emphasis on the "self"), attempting to be there for people, do my job, and generally hold my life togather. I just don't have it in me and it hasn't really been God working through me, but me working under my own strength. So I drain myself for other people and develop a talent to remain visibly calm on the surface of a problem which sets me up to completely crash in private. I can sink back into myself and my single apartment, my computer games, internet and the psuedo-anonynimity they offer.

Wow, what a small world.

2006-05-30T19:23:00.000-07:00

So I am browsing the curse that is myspace.com and I run across all my old friends from high school. As I am reading through their various pages I come across one from a friend that I went to church with in Loma Rica. Low and behold she is here at Ft. Leonard Wood doing chemical training for the Air Force. FREAKY!

The story gets better though as this is the same girl who I ran into in the middle of Bellevue Square, right outside the place that I was working.... this being after I had moved from Northern California to college and then from college to Bellevue. So we have managed to run into each other it two different states on two different occasions... Weird... but at least it gives me someone to hang out with around here.

For all of you still reading this...

2006-05-29T09:31:00.000-07:00

I am stuck in the middle of Missouri or as I refer to it as misery, at Fort Leonard Wood, where I am doing chemical training. At least that’s what they say... so far I have learned how to operate a few pieces of equipment that might detect chemical agents, but other than that I have been a glorified car washer in a protective suit. Ah well...

I live in an open bay, basically a huge room with bunks down the walls and a row of wall lockers down the middle. I am the only practicing Christian that I know of and save a Mormon from Utah the only conservative.

But enough of that... The weather has picked up nicely and after a harsh sun burn, I am tanning nicely (something that I would not be getting if I were in Seattle). It feels good to return to my California brown.

I just read C.S. Lewis' poems for the first time and I was once again reminded of his genius. While they may not have been his forte nor focus they are light and merry and definitely worth reading.

That’s all for now, but I shall strive to post more in my free time either from the library or USO that’s on post. TTYL!

Church and an interesting Sunday

2006-04-23T13:13:00.000-07:00

Interesting afternoon...

Decided to attend church off post this Sunday as the only service that chapel was holding started at 1115 and was titled "traditional." Now I am all about hymns and spiritual songs... but that wasn't exactly what I needed at this juncture. So I looked in the yellow pages for churches in the area, picked out the "Rock of Ages" interdenominational church, and called them up. They were great and gave me a ride to the service and then we fellowshiped over some asian food for lunch.
The service was quite a charasmatic experience though with the full swinging from the rafters speaking in tongues and words of prophecy coming out. Still don't know where I come down on alot of the areas but on thing that I did enjoy was their intigration of the children in the ministry. They invite the children to the front to dance and sing during worship and expect them to pray and minister according to their abilities. I have never seen such excited and motivated children in church. I admired it quite a bit.

Classes start tomorrow with PT bright and early at 0530. Thisis when the fun begins I guess... TTYL

[Tasty Questions] Z' Tejas Dinner Reveiw

2005-11-22T00:02:00.000-08:00

Z Teja’s

535 Bellevue Square
8th & Bellevue Way
Bellevue, WA 98004

The northern-most restaurant in a chain opened by Jack Gilmore, their founding corporate chef, offers a southwest twist on American fusion cuisine. The spice and smoke heavy menu draws extensively on seafood and pork with the occasional Asian curveball with steak and chicken as usual mainstays. Choosing to dine alone on a Monday night allowed for a laid-back and conversational wait staff and general atmosphere, though a weekend is much busier. For dinner the cast-iron skillet dumplings, which the menu describes as “a sizzling skillet of shrimp-and-pork dumplings, served with a red-chili ginger dipping sauce,” were served as described, piping hot and created a spectrum of texture as the wrappers were both softly boiled and fried crispy; inside the savory flavor of the ground smoked pork supports the softer flavors of the shrimp. The dipping sauce offsets the deep taste of the meat with a sweet start and a zip that lingers. Following the dumplings, a swing was taken at one of the Asian curveballs; the miso salmon, “a filet with miso glaze, served with pan-seared mashed potatoes and sautéed green beans and carrots” arrived well arranged and equally hot as the dumplings. Once slightly cooler, the medium-rare fish was an excellent blend of flavor with the salty miso. The mashed potatoes, while well presented, were flabby and lacked substance. They would have been better with a cream flavor such as yogurt or sour cream to offset the salt and spice of the fish and sauce. The green beans were well flavored unfortunately the carrots were julienned so thin, it arrived overcooked and soggy. With the highest priced item on the menu at just under twenty-five dollars, a full service bar and a selection of equally inventive desserts, Z Teja’s makes a good stop for a night out when a big budget is not in order, such as a movie night or casual date.

A Man's House is His Castle...

2005-11-14T11:34:00.000-08:00

(Mirrored post from "The Start of an Epic," which is intended to be my personal blog, while this will remain my commentary blog)

Got my place rearranged... and clean, REALLY CLEAN. Its almost scary

The living room is really bare with only the one couch. Dunno what I am going to do about that...
Really puts a kink in trying to have people over and stuff.

Tried to suprise Janie last night and wisk her off on a date when she got off work, bt apparently she hadn't been feeling well the entire day and needed to go home and rest. Bummer. We're going to do something tomorrow night.

Thinking of having a theology discussion at my place on Sunday nights for folks from Illuminate (the church service I have been going too). Had the idea when I found the course notes from Dr. Thoennes Theology Seminar. Would be good to add a bit of hard core doctrinal discussion to the mix I think... Totally informal, just like pizza and Gruden.

Thats about it for now.

God has a sense of humor too...

2005-11-07T17:56:00.000-08:00

From "The Life You've Always Wanted" by John Ortberg:

"Gods great, holy joke about the Messiah Complex is this: Every human being who has ever lived has suffered from it - except one.
...and He was the Messiah."

[International Questions] The Fall of the Eastern wall...

2005-11-04T12:12:00.000-08:00

The vast majority of my readers know about "The Fall of the West," a coming event predicted by a noted professor at Biola, Dr. John Mark Reynolds.

However for those that don't know, his theory (in broad strokes) is that the lack of intellectual fortitude, characterized by current attitudes of relativism and subjectivism that currently pervade "The West," (that is the countries typically considered to have a dominantly "western" culture i.e. western Europe, Britain, U.S.A. , S. Korea, etc), will continue to lose ground to an eastern culture that has something to believe (i.e. Islam) because "you cannot compete against something with nothing." Reynolds theorized that the world was arriving at a "tipping point,” a point that the market saturation of secularism and relativism does not become the leading ideology, but effects enough people directly and muddles other ideologies enough that it will rapidly become a leading world view. Once this point has arrived church attendance and other indicators of a predominately Christian society will fall drastically. The degradation of a Judeo-Christian world view that reached a tipping point and then fell is easily observable in Britain where in the space for forty years, church attendance declined slowly from nearly ninety percent to nearly seventy percent and then in twenty years dropped to less than twenty five. It is from this ideologically weakened state that one is vulnerable to an ideological onslaught.

Such an onslaught has begun in the streets of Paris and continued for eight days. The New York Times published a story about the riots today, essentially attributing the cause to a widening gap between "the haves and have-nots"... what they fail to mention and the AINA (Assyrian International News Association) of all groups points out, is that while the majority of the rioters are poor immigrant youths, they are also all Muslim, virtually no other religious group is participating in the destruction.

They go on to describe a culture of immigrant enclave's...

"... so far from playing down the differences between ethnic groups, they
have instead stood by approvingly while immigrants formed non-assimilated
Islamic enclaves within Europe. Indeed, as Bat Ye'or demonstrates, they have
assured the Arab League in multiple agreements that they would aid in the
creation and maintenance of such enclaves. Ignorance of the jihad ideology among
European officials has allowed that ideology to spread in those enclaves,
unchecked until relatively recently."

Is there a possibility that such enclaves could form in idealogically depressed US? Should a cultural group be forced to assimilate? Has a fourth wave of Religious Idealogy crested the eastern wall of the west?

More to come...

What were you doing Aug. 12th?

2005-11-03T09:41:00.000-08:00

... a day which happens to be my Birthday coincidentally.

My sister was kind enough to supply pictures. The big guy and the beautiful gal are the two lovely people who brought me into this world.

Thanks Guys!

Moved to Seattle, actually the east side... Bellevue specifically

2005-11-02T23:01:00.000-08:00

So Bellevue....

Think rich... very rich (I live literally across the street from the Microsoft HQ)... I work right across the hall from a Tiffany's... I regularly have customers that drop 5-600 dollars on clothes without batting an eye. I had an art client buy nearly 10 grand in art from me just cause the walls of his new 1.4 mil. house were bare and didn't look right.

Yeah Money... definitely the root of all kinds of evil. I am getting the feeling that there is a good reason why Seattle and the Northwest are the richest area and also the "none" zone. (The most frequent answer put on census survey documents under religious preference for NW residence is "none") I regularly have individuals who wich to purchase items (art or apperal) for their "partners." Definetly an experience Ihave to get used too.

Lord, grant me the grace and peace to not be consumed by greed. Remind me that money is a tool that is supplied and will pass away as all things will. Teach me to be fiscally responsible Lord.

By the way... Rain is all well and good... but if you could give us some sun every now and then.. it would be appreciated.

Yo.. Yo... Yo...

2005-11-02T22:32:00.000-08:00

Yo Yo Yo your boat gently down the stream....

Ok everybody...

Here goes nothing..
-Moved to Seattle, actually the east side... Bellevue specifically
- WOrking at Eddie Bauer and Kenneth Behm Art Galleries
-Living in a one bedroom apt.
-Going to Overlake Christian Church

Then I...
-Quite at the art gallery
-am attempting to get a job at another spot... probably at the mall or downtown.

Thats the recent.. I will expand on each of the points in turn

Page 123

2005-10-29T00:12:00.000-07:00

Since I had a book next to me I thought I would join in...

Heres the deal:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fourth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the "coolest" book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.

Here's what my book said:

He actually seems to beleive that someday his schedule will somehow come under his control

Ladies and Gents I am BACK!!

2005-10-10T23:56:00.000-07:00

Cable modem and all!

Drop me a line and lemme know how your doing... I have some massive updating to do!

Question of the day....

What is the role of an artist's intention in the meaning and interpretation of a piece of art?

Happy thinking!

[Blazing Questions] Inferior Imitations (Part 2)

2005-08-12T10:44:00.000-07:00

The first post can be found here.

I left off with four possible scenarios concerning two criteria.
Having an understanding that something is an imitation and having an understanding that the thing is inferior to the original, with either of those criteria possibly not being understood. The first of the scenario is posted below.

"1. The consumer is ignorant of the thing's being an imitation and therefore does not see, or possibly does not even look for, a difference in quality between the imitation and original. (See: Fake Drugs)"

As the article I posted shows, this situation is inherently dangerous. We can all imagine what it would be like be thinking we are receiving penicillin or Lipitor, but unknowingly only be receiving half the dose we are supposed to be getting. Mis-diagnosis or some other flaw, not a fault of the drug, easily explains the resulting loss in efficacy. We (for the most part Americans) as consumers assume that what something is labeled is what it is, and rightly so as we have thinks like the Food and Drug Administration (Link, Wiki) whose overarching mandate, according to Wikipedia.org, is "to regulate the multitude of medicinal products in a manner that ensures the safety of the American public and the efficacy claims (label) of marketed drugs."

So the question becomes is our confidence misplaced?
Most people at most places at most times would agree that the purpose of government (in the contemporary Western sense) is to serve and protect the people through administrations like the FDA and as such a certain amount of trust from the people must be placed in such constructs. So what does this have to do with imitations and their inferiority? While the FDA requires a certain amount of trust in people, such protections of the people are not all covering. Not everyone has the consumers best interests at heart. What results is complacency among consumers with regards to the quality of their products. This complacency is most apparent when normal systems of protection (read: FDA) are circumvented by alternate methods of appropriation (in the context of the above article, the Internet). Consumers seem to be forgetting the ageless Latin phrase, "Caveat emptor" or "let the buyer beware."

Ok, but this isn't just about pills and products right?
I would extrapolate this Latin phrase through the entire discussion of imitations, but am attempting to lay the ground work that many people have take the legitimacy of their things be it ideas, feelings and products, for granted. The pills is only a microcosm but one that can be magnified to show the state of the entire paradigm. The ultimate responsibility for what one buys, does or believes does not fall to the FDA, ones parents or ones church (though these are very helpful institutions providing resources that the individual doe not have), but rather, it is the responsibility of the individual.

Why is this responsibility important?
Ultimately, it is the individual who deals with the consequences, such as the woman who bought hot McDonald’s Coffee and spilt it, the juvenile delinquent who’s offences dictate trial as an adult, or the individual sinner who must answer to the Almighty for their life in this world. It is our responsibility as consumers to use the resources available to us to ensure that the status and quality of the things we consume is genuine and good because it is we who must answer for that.

Where does that take us?
Having laid down now why the issue is important and why we must be responsible consumers of genuine things, the other three scenarios remain to be examined as well as to categorize some common decisions or examples of situations to see where what we usually consume falls in these categories.

If anyone has any questions comments or interjections, please speak out in the comments or email me (address at the bottom of the blog) as I wish to make this series of thoughts as accurate and correct as possible.

[Other Peoples Questions] Two Hat Tips, Head Nods or Other Gratuitous Gestures

2005-08-11T12:35:00.000-07:00

First... Curtis at a-sdf, has done an excellent job laying out the a cohesive look at the War In Iraq for all its good, bad and ugly sides. Check it out Here.

Second, Bill Dan has an amazing artistic video called "Unbalancing." You can find the full video here, but make sure to visit his blog (though theres not much on it right now) and say "Hi!" for me. (from BoingBoing.net, their article)

[Personal Questions] What do you want for your birthday?

2005-08-10T22:11:00.000-07:00

A common enough question at this time of the year. So I created

THE AMAZON BIRTHDAY WISHLIST

(GASP)

Enjoy!

[Stupid Questions] Ding Ding, Round One!

2005-08-10T15:06:00.000-07:00

I have found possibly the most innane, useless and possibly evil endeavour conducted by a major company on the internet.

Witness AIM Fight... Where your not good enough if your friends arn't good enough. Ugh!

Apparently if your not socializing with the right people... its game over man, game over. I fail to understand why someone would value something like this? It is absolutly meaningless as the number of ones contacts means absolutly nothing.

I take that back... This site does demonstrate ones complete dependance on AIM or AOL, making it still as if not more deplorable as if it didn't mean anything at all.

[Before the Questions] Changes to the layout

2005-08-10T12:44:00.000-07:00

I spent some time today fixing up the layout of the blog. The previous template was flawed and when I replaced it, I lost all my links and other fun modifications. But I finally got it all up and working, including my new AdSense banner and search module. Call me a sell-out but I prefer the term starving college (not currently a) student. So patronize the links as you feel lead, but due to the eclectic nature of the blog... I have no clue what you may be seeing!

I am also attempting to get some "Tags" running for my posts as an easy catagorization system. I don't know if I will ever get it automated, but the titles of the posts will now bely more than the usual witty quip.

[Blazing Questions] Inferior Imitations (Part 1)

2005-08-09T12:52:00.000-07:00

Started this post on Aug. 4, set it aside and decided now would be a good time to finish it. I seem to be on a blogging roll... I hope my readers will keep up.

Being bored at home, I decided to troll around AOL for a bit looking for interesting conversation. As I revisited my old virtual haunts from my high school era I found them deserted and empty. As I ventured down into the electronic depths I soon discovered the mass majority of activity dedicated to offering or gaining the pleasures of lust. Weather it was SxyGRL80809 offering me a view of a 21 year old virgin on a web cam or TllDrKnHndsm looking for 19/f/pic, it was almost entirely dedicating to vicious pursuits. I finally was able to strike up a good conversation with a young woman from VA, which proved very interesting about the objectivity of art and why The Mona Lisa is smiling. This got me thinking back to the good'ol Plato dialogue about imitations and their inferiority ( I will assume for the sake of the discussion that imitations are inferior, if you would like to dispute that… Talk to me). So I devised a bit of a thought project along those lines.

Why do imitations work?
Because they are accepted on some level by the consumer (general term I will use for recipient, consumer, audience, viewer, etc).

Why are they accepted?
Acceptance seems to be based on two criteria. The first, an understanding that the thing ( I am using" thing," though I think these are in fact general principles that apply not just to physical objects, etc but also to emotions and actions) is in fact an imitation of another. Second, an understanding about the thing's quality, based on the first understanding.

Ok, so we have four possible scenarios, right?

1. The consumer is ignorant of the thing's being an imitation and therefore does not see, or possibly does not even look for, a difference in quality between the imitation and original. (See: Fake Drugs)

2. The consumer is ignorant of it's being an imitation and knows or discovers a difference in quality between the imitation and original, which would probably cause one to immediately suspect the first criteria. (See: That Prada Bag may cost you)

3. The consumer understands the product to be an imitation and does not realize or understand the inferiority of the imitation, probably due to an ignorance of the original being imitated or a lack of careful examination of the imitation (though I am very open to other possibilities).

4. The consumer understands the product to be an imitation and acknowledges its resulting inferiority.

I will continue to expand on the possibilities of these four scenarios including examples that apply and the ramifications there of. If anything comes to mind, please suggest it as I hope to branch this topic out for a while.

[Chilling Questions] Backbone? Anybody?

2005-08-09T10:57:00.000-07:00

Once again, the American public shows its lack of fortitude to stand for
anything. CBS tells the story here.

Associated Press reports about two jurors jurors in the Michael Jackson case who have now changed their story, within weeks of announcing book deals. Here's what they had to say for themselves according to AP:

"Cook and Hultman said they agreed to go along with the other jurors when it
became apparent that they would never convict the pop star. The two denied
being motivated by money and tried to explain why they were coming forward
now. "

Now correct me if I am wrong... But isn't the purpose of unanimous jury voting and
the possibility of a mistrial there to prevent this sort of thing? I held out for 3 hours once during a trial

alone

just because the sentence was too weak! (Long story, will detail later if asked) Not because I'm just that stubborn about my own way, but because it was the RIGHT THING TO DO! Someone who has committed a crime needs to be punished accordingly, and you need to stand for that even if the other 11 MORONIC INDIVIDUALS don't give a rat's posterior! So what if your not going to convict him... Hanging a jury sends a message too! As a juror, its your responsibility to the the victim, the people and even the defendant!

Chilling question: Does the lack of fortitude amongst the American people demonstrate a gradually increaseing failure in the U.S. justice system?

PETA off its rocker...

2005-08-09T09:43:00.000-07:00

Fuzzy bunnies and baby seals are one thing... but this is too far gone!

This is amazingly strong evidence of what happens when peoples epistomologies get seriously out of wack. If taken too far such trends could begin to bear resemblance to the anti-natural actions of homosexuals. I'll expand this thought later if requested.

(Thanks to Michelle Malkin)

EDIT:
curtis said...

"More on topic: Yes, well. That's PETA for you. I've always had a problem with
them not so much for their views, but because they just sort of assume them
without very much justification. I've yet to see a single PETA member explain
why animals deserve ontological status as people. I've even had one person tell
me in a private email exchange that it is "the divine right of f***ing God!", so
I doubt it will get better. Meanwhile, PETA continues its charade
of hypocrisy.

Me again... If that's their understanding of divine rights... Lord help us all when Irish Setters, Domestic Shorthairs and Holsteins have a greater right to life, liberty and pursuit of property that we do! "Yeah!" for good intelligent animal stewardship... but let's leave it to those that can intelligently steward and doen't require a litterbox.

Broadband is beautiful thing!!!!

2005-08-08T20:49:00.000-07:00

We just got wireless access to the Camp's WAN internet connection. So we went from dial-up to 11 Mbps in the plug in of a USB adapter.
Ain't technology grand!

Some thoughts on Dante and Justice

2005-08-07T00:29:00.000-07:00

I am in the midst of Inferno this eve so pardon me, as I may wax poetic a fair bit in this post (Sayers Translation is a beautiful thing). It struck me as I was reading just how different our Western society has categorized Man’s crime and sin than the hierarchy Dante sets out which seemingly the greater the sin the greater the punishment. In Western Justice, probably the worst offence that one may commit is typically viewed as Murder; qualified as the worst by what most would consider the harshest punishment possible, death. However, in Dante’s hell, Murder is less severe than most other sins, including simony, usury and theft, which receive comparably light sentences in life. This part of this discrepancy could be due in part to the difference between life and death or between “crime” and “sin” because of the differing justices, which met out punishment. But with regard to active sin, fairly observable, describable and quantifiable by most men, punishment seems most out of balance. Should not the sin that is the most affront to God or your fellow man warrant the greatest punishment regardless of the sphere your soul currently dwells in?

It has been said that martyrdom is the easy way out for the persecuted one, at least among Christians. Much harder, most would say, is the continually persecuted life, in which one receives none of Paradises blessings, is the epitome of taking up your cross and following Christ. If that is the case, then is capitol punishment, which allows the criminal passage to the next life (what ever that may be for the individual) actually the easiest sentence as the individual is hastened to eternal judgment rather than having to bear the stigma of his crime for the rest of his terrestrial life? I would have to say “no” as to hasten ones reckoning with The Almighty is not a light punishment at all and could possibly preclude that souls salvation (though this ultimately rests in God’s hands) condemning not only the death of the body of the criminal, but the soul as well. Blessed it seems are the men who are granted reprieve from such a sentence that they have more time to recognize their folly. May they not be ignorant of such things and perpetuate their mistakes.

Continuing the question that ended the first paragraph, it seems that at least one differentiating characteristic between the justice administered in either sphere would be the objectivity with which such decisions could be rendered. This is a possible explanation for the absence of law with regards to the sins of incontinence, such as lust, gluttony, and wrath. The violent and malicious sins, seem to similarly, be based on objectification, as it is typically much easier to recognize a murder and murderer than it is to recognize pandering and the pimp and again easier to identify a pimp than a counselor of fraud. Thus the decreasing severity of the sentences could reflect the parallel lack of certifiable objectification.

Interestingly, the worst sin one can commit in Dante’s paradigm is that of Treason, either to kindred, country, guest or lord, hence Satan’s position at the very center along with Judas Iscariot as well as Cassius and Brutus. However, the sin of treason is rapidly loosing its place as a crime in our society due in large part to the recognition and acceptance of a self-centered value structure. However it seems that Treason could be the most easily recognized sin, but the twist comes in that if successful, the treasonous individual becomes the more authoritative source, inverting the value structure on which Justice is based and making it the most heinous of crimes or sins.

The difference in education...

2005-08-05T23:40:00.000-07:00

Today was a rather interesting day. I was able to participate and observe what I consider to be the best and worst forms of education in action here at camp (to fill you all in I am at home at Woodleaf till my birthday on Aug. 12 after which I will be moving to Seattle; yes Jace you will see me again).
I will attempt to start with the worst and how it played out, but this will require a bit of background knowledge for those of you unfamiliar with the Young Life ministry. Young Life is a high school outreach ministry aimed at unchruched teens by way of relationships with older Christian leaders, either career adults or college students. Part of the program is the opportunity to come to camp in the summer, either at Woodleaf where I live or at one of the other 22 properties across the US.
So today camp was in full swing... Day six of seven days and there is typically a significant trust bond (though fairly manipulative, though I will get to that in a sec) between the program staff (think comedy and skits) and the speaker (think message/gospel). Apparently, there was a integration of a seminar on "Sex and Dating" into this weeks schedule, something I was not completely familiar with. Other staff has done it with varying degrees of success based upon the set-up either a Q and A panel composed of staff with differing experiences or split gender discussion groups in which campers can voice their own opinions. Not so with today's seminar. Straight-up lecture. UGH! Not only did the speaker do the whole "society has lied to you, abstinence till marriage cause of STD's, pregnancy and emotional damage" schpeal these kids have probably hear thousands of times but went on to give some rules for "how far is to far." I was incredulous! I wanted to run up to the speaker, grab him by the shoulders and yell "DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK THIS IS GOING TO CHANGE ANYTHING?" at him as loud as I could. For all of you out there that think that I am off my rocker for knocking an abstinence position, allow me to explain. While being doctrinally correct that sex is only appropriate inside of marriage, such a talk falls woefully short of addressing why the teens are pursuing sex in the first place. In addition, such an information dump is entirely based on the kids trust in the speaker. If that is degraded by anything or wears off, the entire talk goes out the window. The converse is also true. If a kid is highly resistant to such a talk, it may damage what little credibility the speaker has for the greater message of the Gospel.
Remember I said that the trust was in large part manipulated? This is done a variety of ways but the main way is to have the teens jump off a High Ropes Course pole while on a rope held by the speaker. Voila, instant trust builder. But if that manipulated trust is seen through or challenged and fails... The gospel message and anything from a sex talk goes out the window. The speaker dug himself in even farther by telling the girls "you dress like hookers" and then laying the burden of men's lust on their clothing choices. Now I am all for modesty from the fairer sex, but the responsibility for the content of my and any young mans mind is their own, regardless of what is being worn. Later after we'd split genders, he talked to the guys about masturbation, pornography and girls self-image and proceeded to chastise the guys about objectification of women and that we were causing their eating disorders. Now let me make myself plain. I am all for a cohesive supportive Christian community in which brothers and sisters in Christ are conscious and considerate of each others weaknesses and do their best to build them up. But piling responsibility for another's weakness on already weak shoulders seems counter productive to me.
The best experience I had was with my Dad tonight. I very rarely had a good discussion with him growing up as it was typically necessary to just yield to his authority. Tonight after a rousing discussion of both abstract and concrete topics with Mom, whose always been a good conversationalist, Dad came in and we picked up a bit of a Calvinist vs. Arminian debate. While not academically trained in bible or theology I dare say my dad has one of the best memories for verses and references I know of and we wrestled through it for a bit. We didn't push for closure on the issue but moved on to a discussion of what it meant to have " a ready answer for ones faith" which was a concept Mom had picked up from 2 Timothy, possibly incorrectly. So we checked the passage and tried to determine what an adequate "answer" would be. I didn't like the sense of certainty associated with "answer" and suggested "hypothesis" instead. This lead to a discussion over the nature of knowledge and belief, as well as the marketplace of ideas and why one should hold their opinions loosely. It was amazing... Not only was it challenging for me to think through the ideas that I have picked up from Torrey lectures and such and express them on my own, but being able to hear Dad's opinion and thoughts on the subject were GREAT! I think that I learned so much from that... Not only that but I can articulate it myself which illustrates the disparity between the lecture earlier and the discussion I had tonight. The talks sole basis and justification is the trust between the leader and the camper versus the justification of coming to the realization of my own theories and beliefs and being able to clearly elucidate them to myself and others.

That's enough for one night!

The Air of Responsibility...

2005-07-03T20:37:00.000-07:00

So I am sitting in front of my grandfathers old 133 MHz Pentium computer, having finally mustered enough patience to wait out the loading time on Blogger on its 33.6 kbps dial-up modem. As such I shall attempt to keep this brief (under 5 pages, as I am making up for losts time) for all my loyal readers whose lives have been lacking their regular infusion of Payton-isms.

The Goings On-
My near future: I have been at my grandparent’s house for the past two weeks. I leave for Priest Lake, ID on Tuesday to meet up with the parents and my Uncle Jim and Aunt Judy (on my fathers side). I will spend a few days with the gang there and try to cram some Dante reading in before I head back to Biola for three weeks of "The Academy". Then my future remains undecided.

Undecided: Much has happened since my return from Europe. I have put out about 40 resumes and applications in the greater Seattle area in hopes of finding a job somewhere in the vicinity of my family here. In the process of anticipating a possible move, I have located an apartment (a studio) right across from the Microsoft campus in North Bellevue and a church at Overlake Christian Church that’s only another 3 miles down the road. This would put me less than a mile from Grandma and Grandpa and only about 5 minutes from one set of aunt and uncle (moms side). The only problem is I don't have a definite job (Retail Sales at Eddie Bauer looks good, but I am not sure they will pay enough). I have this tremendous feeling that this is really where I am supposed to be next year, but am unsure if that is enough for me to put the wheels in motion to make the move up here. I could start at the EB job and then move on if something else comes along, but that’s rather risky. It compounds the risk I already put myself in by purchasing "interview" clothes (Two suits, on clearance, shirt and tie combos and shoes that I am currently wearing, hence the "air of responsibility") that cost a fair amount of money. I pretty much have all my preverbal cards stacked up here in the northwest and if the table shakes the wrong way there is a distinct chance it would all fall apart and I would be left at square one with a months time down the tubes. I am worried that I could have been doing this out of my own will, and ignoring God's. I don't think that’s the case, but with the amount of risk, I can't help feeling a bit afraid. I can tell He is working in this situation, has been faithful in the past (Bringing the family to Woodleaf, putting me in the Army, me going to Biola) and will work all this together for good, but it is definitely stretching my faith.

I wish I would have asked more questions when people told me that growing up was hard, especially on how to make it easier (if that’s ever possible...).

Please be praying for the following:
-Peace about decisions made to date, budgetary, academically, etc.
-God providing a job that pays $16/hour, which I know is stiff for a first year college student, but that’s what I will need to make budget with ought living off Top Ramen and Mac and Cheese next year (which I am prepared to do), but its the indicator I have been praying for that this is the right place for me.
-The upcoming Academy; that high school students would learn to ask good questions of others and themselves.
-Future counseling sessions that they would be productive in identifying and providing potential solutions for some of my psychological baggage and that God's grace and healing power would be evident through that.
-The ministry possibilities in this year off, either to my family up here in Seattle (most of whom have rather ambiguous relationships with the Lord at best) or to a yet to be revealed individual or group; so that as God works in my life, I can share that experience with others.

The writings of a world traveler...

2005-06-24T22:15:00.000-07:00

Well all you readers out there. I am alive and well after traveling approximately 8000 miles in about 96 hours. I am now in Seatle with my grandparents, helping them out around the house, after coming home from Europe. Its hard work as there are many things that need work inside and outside the house. Please be praying for both my grandparents health as it is deteriorating as they enter their 70's.

Please keep my job search in your prayers as I complete the West Coast tour and head back to LA and the time for a place and a job nears. I feel kind of foolish as I didn't pack any good clothes to bring with me on this leg of the trip and as such feel like I can't apply or interveiw for jobs while I am here. I guess I will just have to keep hoping, praying and waiting on the Lord to open the door where He wants me to be.

I would like to hear ya'lls thoughts on me volunteering for a deployment over the next year. What do you think the pro's and con's would be? From an observers point of view, do you think that I am ready for a 8+ hour a day job helping people medically? Sound off for me, please. Where do you think I should be?

Off to Europe...

2005-05-30T11:03:00.000-07:00

Talk to ya'll later! (like 18 days later!)

Music as anesthetic

2005-05-26T02:01:00.000-07:00

From BoingBoing.net

According to a new study, listening to music when you go under the surgical knife can significantly reduce your need for sedation. Anesthesiologists at the Yale School of Medicine ran a study that included 90 patients undergoing "urological procedures with spinal anesthesia and patient-controlled IV propofol sadation." From a press release about the paper, published in the journal Anesthesia & Analgesia:

The subjects wore headphones and were randomly assigned to hear music they liked, white noise or to wear no headphones and be exposed to operating room noise. Dropping a surgical instrument into a bowl in the operating room can produce noise levels of up to 80 decibels, which is considered very loud to uncomfortably loud.

What they found is that blocking the sounds of the operating room with white noise did not decrease sedative requirements of listening to operating room sounds. Playing music did reduce the need for sedatives during surgery.

Link and Link to scientific paper abstract

Soul Mates?

2005-05-24T18:13:00.000-07:00

I’ve been thinking heavily about the question of "Is there something intrinsically different about some relationships on a teleological level?" The Readers Digest version: "Are there soul mates?" People who are just better together than another combination of two people; that function synergistically or something so that they seem to “fit” one another?

Second question would be something like “if there is an intrinsic difference, is that enough to base a marriage on?” I am asking if there IS something special about certain relationships, is that a quality that assists/facilitates/helps marriage (it could be God given). Could this be a way fro God to point out that you should marry and this is the person He’s set before you? Is there such a placement? It seems like it’s the Calvinist view; “Are you predestined to be with someone?” Maybe it’s more just has God made someone that is THE BEST compliment for your uniqueness. But still if such a sympathetic quality existed in a relationship... is that enough of a justification for making it a permanent relationship? Personally, I don't know about the first question, if it exists.

The second I don’t think its justification unless God purposefully intends for you to marry that person, which I would tend to say only He knows (though He may and does reveal it), but that is a line of questioning that will take a great deal more time to figure out.

Oh, the Hilarity of Subterfuge in the Blogsphere...

2005-05-24T01:29:00.000-07:00

From Redstate.org

To the unimaginative troll

By: krempasky · Section: Democrats

Specifically, the one taking so much time to sign RedState up for all the lefty mailing lists: you're not as smart as you think you are - and you're only going to hurt the ones you love.
Here's why: we're not legitimately subscribing to all these lists. So, of course, we'll ask to be unsubscribed. The first organization or cause that fails to honor those subscriptions (and most of them don't do it very well) will offer the perfect opportunity to test out the CAN-SPAM act. Many thanks.

Wow, the unseen consequences of that action are going to come back and bite someone in the butt. But what are someones motives for doing something like sign someone else up for a whole bunch of e-mail lists. So its an annoyance, but isn't a very effective way of actually changing someone's mind on an issue. If anything it just galvanizes them against it. Yet another instance of irresponsible ignorance.

I'm a gimp...

2005-05-23T23:46:00.000-07:00

So in a twist of dramatic irony, I have been humbled physically. “Why is this ironic?” one may ask? Because during spring break I spent the entire time in Palm Springs with Ashley carrying her stuff around cause she had a knee immobilizer on; the ironic part, now I have one... for 2 weeks.

The short version of the story is that I was getting out of Scott's pool and there was a tile that stuck out about 3/4 inch. As I swung my left leg up, it cut me about a 1.5 inch laceration about .5 in wide and .5 inch deep. Didn't hurt really, I just saw red stuff (you know, blood) in a pretty sizable hole and reacted with direct pressure (My medic sense was tingling you know!), threw some gauze on it, taped it up and headed for an Urgent Care/ER. Well all the after hours clinics I knew of were closed, Whittier isn't an option unless someone is dying (See: Ashley's experience), Presbyterian had like 35 people in line, so we went to St. Jude Hospital. It was amazing. In and out in like 45 min. They have a "fast track" program (like "10 items or less") for people who have apparent diagnosis. You’re seen by a PA, patched up and sent on your way! It was cool and the PA was great. But now I have 6 stitches in my knee, and an immobilizer to keep from popping them out. I am hobbling everywhere and I have discovered how much the disability in one joint forces the others to compensate. My calves are killing me and I can't really stretch properly.

On an upside, this could give me preferential seating on the flight, though it may not which would really suck. It is going to put a damper on the first 5 days of Europe though... Luckily most of that is on the cruise and therefore not too much lugging of luggage and such. I will be taking my own stitches out there.

Anyway... I have the rest for the week to pack up my room, put it in storage and prep for Europe. I hope to do some good work on finding a place to live when I return, but it isn't a huge issue till after The Academy. Please be praying...

I will probably be switching personal posts over to another Blog, so that people who like my ideas can read this and people who want to know what’s going on with me personally can read "The Start of an Epic" though I am still working out the kinks out of the comments and such...

And that’s all I have to say about that.

So... Biola is frustrating...

2005-05-23T23:45:00.000-07:00

Apparently they are blocking remote mail programs... Both my Thunderbird and Outlook cannot access their servers. Urg...

What happens when you cross a scape goat with a witch hunt?

2005-05-22T14:51:00.000-07:00

From Slashdot.org

AI Playground writes "Slyck News reports on the MPAA's press release (.doc) blaming the BitTorrent protocol for the leak of Episode III. MPAA President and CEO Dan Glickman: 'There is no better example of how theft dims the magic of the movies for everyone than this report today regarding BitTorrent providing users with illegal copies of Revenge of the Sith. The unfortunate fact is this type of theft happens on a regular basis on peer to peer networks all over the world.'"

I don't know if it is the direct reference of BitTorrent in a negative manner or the seeming lack of distinction between programs and users that disturbs me more. It's like the same old gun company-reponsible-fo- the-actions-of-an-individual-user debate, transcribed to another industry. When will people take responsibility or make others responsible for their actions instead of passing the buck to companies that make things or provide serivces that may be missused?

Curtis asked...

2005-05-22T14:32:00.000-07:00

Total volume of music on my computer?
1034 Songs, 3 days, 3.54 Gb Totoal Volume

The last CD I bought?
Glenn Miller Orchestra Swing Time

Song playing right now?
Celebrate Mistakes by Number One Gun

Five songs I listen to a lot or mean a lot to me (in no particular order)?
I'm not a repeatitave listener... Though my "Party Shuffle" is all Christian of various genres.

Which five people are you passing this baton to, and why?
Emily- cause she reads this and cares about music right now.
The next four people who read my blog, which I don't really know because of the switch from Xanga to Blogger.

The Situation as it stands...

2005-05-21T17:19:00.000-07:00

So This is where I am...

99.9% chance I will not be at Biola next year. I am still in Torrey but with the tacit understanding that I will take a year off to "find my self" where it doesn't cost $26k a year! I have the option of dropping Torrey and continuing at Biola, but this doesnt appeal to me.

Option 1:
I will seek some form of employment, buy my own health insurance and pay off some student loans and make some purchases from my wish list (in no particular order) like this, this, this, this and this.

1A. Living at or near home would put me closer to Mom, Dad, and Amanda. Cost of living is substantially cheaper (Idea of Housing Cost,though this might work!). Downside: Leave community that I have established here at Biola. I would be able to make ends meet for about minimum wage. (Budget with round numbers)

1B. Stay here in La Mirada or the surrounding area. Cost of living higher (Idea of Housing Cost, This might work). Maintain participation and support the Biola Community. Would have to make nearly $11/hour to make ends meet.

Option 2:
Sign an active duty Army contract for three years. I would be able to get farther on the wish list(Active duty E-4 makes about $1695.60/mo with housing and rations) and get added benifits for college (Active duty GI Bill is nearly $25k)

Option 3
Volunteer for deployment with the Reserves. Money is the same as active duty. There is no gaurentee where I would go, but possibly Germany with the rest of the 328th CSH.

Any other Ideas are welcomed.

(Below is a tenative budget, feel free to comment if figures seem wrong)

Nor Cal
Item	Per month	Cost
Rent	425	5100
Food	200	2400
Insurance	85	1020
Car Payment	350	4200
Utilities	120	1440
Total Gross income needed		14160
Work year in Hours (50wks@40hrs/week)		$/hour needed to meed budget
2000		7.08
So Cal
Item	Per month	Cost
Rent	795	9540
Food	250	3000
Insurance	85	1020
Car Payment	350	4200
Utilities	200	2400
Total Gross income needed		20160
Work year in Hours (50wks@40hrs/week)		$/hour needed to meed budget
2000		10.08

Medics Fill Care Void in Iraq Towns

2005-05-20T20:16:00.000-07:00

Hoorah, Soldier Medic!

From Military.com
May 20, 2005
By Sandra Jontz
Stars and Stripes Mideast edition
SKHARTIAT, Iraq — Wish as he might, Capt. Jon Christensen can't cure them all. But if nothing else, he can help alleviate their discomfort.

Time and again, the 36-year-old physician's assistant and his crew of medics from 2nd Battalion, 8th Field Artillery, 1st Brigade, 25th Infantry Division visit impoverished towns and villages that pepper Ninevah Province to bring medical supplies and knowledge that, if even for a short time, dissolve the aches of arthritis, burden of birth defects, hurt of heart disease.

Read it! It's a decent article about the medical mission in Iraq and how much we are actually helping there!

My new favorite web application

2005-05-20T17:27:00.000-07:00

If you are wondering why my blog has suddenly taken on such a great appearance and no longer looks like it was thrown togather it is because I have discovered...

Bloglines.com!

Possibly the single greatest blog site I have ever seen! Using it in combination with a premade template from Blogger.Templates gives me a great look, awsome blog rolling as well as a free web-based aggregator! It is so flippin' Sweet!

If your still on Xanga... Shame on you! Come into the Light!

What happened to the idea of an "All Volunteer Force?"

2005-05-19T20:07:00.000-07:00

An article published by Christian Science Monitor,[Christian Science Monitor Article] and distributed by today's Military.com,[Military.com Article] newsletter, as well as an article in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, [SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER Article] describe how a Seattle high school's Parent-Teacher-Student Association (PTSA) adopted a resolution [Text found here] to bar military recruiters from campus. The following is taken from a press release written by the PTSA.

"The resolution states, in part, 'There are many reasons why Garfield parents, teachers and students might object to military recruiting on campus. Not all of us agree on every issue. Whether it is because of a desire to protect young students from the life-and-death decision that military service presents, objection to the current war in Iraq, fear that recruiters may not present a realistic picture of military life or disagreement with policies that discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation, we do agree that public schools are not a place for military recruiters.'

This all should be prefaced with the understanding that

"Garfields PTSA voted to oppose an invasion of Iraq in the fall of 2002, under the belief that the war would be a threat both to the well-being of students who may be called to fight in it, as well as a threat to the funding security of public education."

That being said I will address the 2002 resolution first. While I admire their tenacity, their pursuit of their mission to To promote the welfare of children and youth in the schools" is overstepped by the opposition of other governmental decisions outside of the purview of education. If the members of the Garfield PTSA wish to lobby on a military issue, I would encourage them to do so, but do not disguise it as an issue with DIRECT implications on the children and youth of schools. The PTSA concern of the war being a "threat both to the well-being of students who may be called to fight in it" excedes their mission of "promoting the welfare of children and youth" as any students called to fight in a war would either be adults who had signed a contract voluntarily or a 17.5 year old who has volunteered with parental consent.

Opposition to the war on an economic basis (the other reason) is similarly misguided as it assumes that the legislative branch responsible for the designation of funds is incorrect, improper or excessive in appropriating money to the military rather than education. Such an assumption is incorrect as it must assume that those that oppose have either better information, a better comprehension of fiscal policy or a better budgetary understanding than the United States Congress. It also creates a dichotic argument that proves false, between the federal government responsible for decisions of war and the state government primarily responsible for funding education

Now that the first resolution's ideas have been dealt with I shall move on to the second resolution. Beginning with the first claim, that the "desire to protect young students from the life-and-death decision that military service presents," the PTSA continues its lack of appreciation of the voluntary decisions of those students. Just by stating that the students need to be protected from a decision shows a marked disdain for the development of individual responsibility among their students. Shouldn't those eligible for military service, that is 18 year old adults or 17.5 year olds with parental consent, who have legal responsibility for their actions, be encouraged and supported in making important and difficult decisions, rather than protected from such decisions? These students will have to make such decisions eventually and the PTSA will not be there for the rest of their adult lives, "protecting" them.

As far as the decision to join the military being a "life-and-death decision," getting into your car to drive to the supermarket would have to be considered a "life-and-death decision" as more people die in car accidents daily proportionally than U.S. troops in Iraq.

Secondly, objections to the war are a citizens right, but should not translate into a objections to the troops or an individuals opportunities to succeed as soldiers in the military. Further, the objections to the war of the members of the PTSA should not be projected onto the possibilities of an entire student body. The opportunity to voice said objections could take place through democratic processes, not through inflammatory actions that inappropriately affect students who do not share those objections.

Third, while it is unethical for military recruiters to present an inaccurate picture of military life, the idea that an "accurate" picture is possible to illustrate would be false. An attempt to relate anything but a recruiters own experience should be taken with a grain of salt. "Caveat emptor" and all. There is a reason that anyone with military experience would tell you to read EVERYTHING you sign. Not because any individual is trying to coerce or co-opt you, but because it is the responsible thing to do and "I didn't know" is not an acceptable answer.

Finally, the issue of equal opportunity and the military's policy on homosexuality is government policy. Such policy should not have adverse effects on other branches of government, any branch of government, education or otherwise. This is not a statement in support or against the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, but rather an understanding that certain peoples choices and lifestyles may adversely effect their employment options. For example, someone's choice to be a vegan would make the prospect of working for a butcher or a burger joint rather uncomfortable. This does not preclude vegans from working in those establishments and any harassment of an employee on basis of this status should not be allowed. But one does not punish a butcher for violating equal opportunity because the work environment would be uncomfortable. So while it would be uncomfortable for a homosexual to be in the military, because of the unacceptability of manifesting that behavior, the military should not be punished for violating equal opportunity employment practices.

That said, there should be a differentiation between the hiring practice of a civilian institution that discriminates on a philosophical basis and the military which maintains that inclusion of gays would be detrimental to moral and unit cohesion. The military is making no teleological distinction of gays, but simply is acknowledging what it perceives will be a behavior that is detrimental to the concept of being a soldier in a unit.

Finally, the PTSA has actual influence on the administration of school policy and thus has no real decision making capacity. It does not actually speak for the voice of any of the member groups in its entirety. However, this episode demonstrates an increasingly common view that are contrairy to an all voluntary force by either "protecting" individuals from making their own voluntary decisions, imposing views that are not representative on unwilling or unknowing groups of people, or removing an individuals responsibility for a decision by claiming the decision was un- or misinformed. It is unfortunate that it seems as people today cannot be allowed to make their own voluntary, self-informed and researched decisions and take full responsibility for the consequences for those decisions.

Biola Wiki

2005-05-17T01:59:00.000-07:00

Go check out the new Biola Wiki. It is still coming online, but the photo and news portions are up and running. Register, log-in and say "Hi!" Let the community know about up-coming Biola associated events, shin-digs, and general goings on. You could also sound off with your own opinion about the latest Biola event, chapel speaker or Chimes article.

Another Star Wars Film... NOT EPISODE THREE!

2005-05-17T01:50:00.000-07:00

StarWars: Revelations

Heads up you Star Wars and film geeks! Check out what independent not-for-profit film making can do! It’s a 45 min short Star Wars film that was made independently. Its not the greatest, the story is really weak (ABSOLUTELY HORRID for those of us that are expanded universe fans), the lighting and cinematography are like a bad soap opera, the saber battle looks like it ripped off "The Star Wars Kid"... But the animation is really good for an indie film (there’s a good Tie Fighter chase scene) and it is still impressive considering the work and cost of doing Sci-fi. And it’s all done without profit!

Found in the current issue of U.S. News and World Report

In the Words of Lobby folk...

2005-05-17T00:01:00.000-07:00

"I'm a prude!" --Aurande

Transferring from Xanga to Blogger

2005-05-16T23:45:00.000-07:00

Having gotten completely fed up with the lack of readership of serious posts on xanga and wishing to find a forum in which my actual thoughts are valued, read and responded to I am now switching to blogger. I hope to add a RSS feed soon as well as a feed aggregator and other nice little things like the Gooooogle advertisements that might actually make me some cash. The additional ability to add my own scripts will probably spawn a new furious study of various computer codes.

A True American Hero...

2005-04-02T14:26:00.000-08:00

I am truely honored to be a Soldier and serve with men like this. I hope that if I were ever in a situation like this that I would act with similar courage and honor. I pray that SFC Paul Ray Smith knew Jesus Christ because his example, while tragic, is a bold statement that there is still honor and valor in the U.S. Army.

As a personal request, please visit the official Army site above, watch "The Battlescape" and understand a bit better what our missions are as soldiers.

He is the embodyment of the Warrior Ethos, a ideal pounded into me during Basic Training and Advanced Individual Training, but now one I embrace and aspire to maintain if I shold ever be in the combat zone.

Sone other sites, memorials and such to SFC Smith follow:
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/03/30/politics/30medal.html
http://www.fallenheroesmemorial.com/oif/profiles/smithpaulr.htm
http://www.windsofchange.net/archives/004196.php

Justin McRoberts concert at Biola

2005-01-12T22:51:00.000-08:00

Hey folks. Justin McRoberts will be in concert soon and we would love help spreading the word! Please forward or copy/paste this HTML email to everyone you know and tell them don’t miss this! This will be a great night! Share the love - See you there!

_______________________________________

Thursday January 20th, Biola University

Student Union Building - SUB

13800 Biola Ave

7pm, $5

phone: 530-828-1296 // info: yl_wdlf_guy@hotmail.com

www.justinmcroberts.com

____________________________________________________

JUSTIN’S NEWEST ALBUM, Intersections, NOW AVAILABLE!

http://www.justinmcroberts.com/store

In response to a discussion post...

2005-01-07T16:04:00.000-08:00

Ryan B. M______ on Thursday, December 30, 2004 at 2:37 AM -0800 wrote:

"Soldiers and marines might support what the nation is doing, but what about the
National Guard? If you laughed at that question, you probably didn't realize
that the majority of people getting killed over there are the untrained National
Guard soldiers tossed into the fray."

First of all, “the majority of people getting killed over there are the untrained National Guard soldiers” does not support the claim that the National Guard does not support the nation.

I would also challenge you to find the statistics to back up your statement.

(At this point, I bring out the soapbox, so if you are only interested in the basic contents of this thread disregard the following.)

There is a great deal of ignorance demonstrated in this statement and unfortunately I feel that it may be perpetuated if I don’t address it.

First of all, National Guard Soldiers and Reservists (I am one) receive the same training as the Active duty portion at this point in time. There was a great deal of concern about troops that were going from the old Post-Gulf War I "Weekend warrior" mentality to a “combat-ready” mentality. Part of this concern stemmed from the question “Is current training up to snuff for the War on Terror?” but this notion has been rapidly addressed by the Pentagon. My unit, of which 325 members are actually deploying today, will be attending a month and a half "train-up" period prior to deployment to Germany in order to integrate current training skills to the equipment and environment that they will be moving in on. In addition, from a medical perspective, most members of my unit work in civilian hospitals and, therefore, bring BETTER medical qualifications to the unit than just the military medical training. Obviously, this is a unique situation and not one concerning combat or tactics, but it should help to dispel the notion that NG and Reserve troops are untrained or unqualified.

On the other hand, there remains an equipment issue, such as armor for HMMWV (High-Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle) and other vehicles but that is a logistical issue that is also being dealt with, it just takes longer to manufacture armor for vehicles than it does to teach soldiers to check under bodies before rolling them over because of booby traps (a skill that was learned the hard way during the early days of Iraq and immediately added to our training curriculum during my Combat Medic School, along with a great deal of other lessons learned from dealing with enemy prisoners of war [EPW’s])

On a personal note, I resent the implication of "the untrained national guard soldiers tossed into the fray" Every soldier, Active, NG or Reserve, had to sign a contract in order to enter, regardless of preconceptions about weather or not they would be mobilized and sent to serve overseas. They knew or at least should have known what they were getting into; I did and while it is hard to communicate the complexities of the military training and education system, suffice it to say that you get what you put into it, just like any other education system. Therefore, there are very few "untrained National Guard soldiers" left in rotation and their existence is their own fault.

Continued...

2005-01-06T14:58:00.000-08:00

Well I said that I would continue my post... so here goes.

In addition to my Probability and Statistics (which was really good today and quite funny) I am taking a unit of Prosection. That is, Dissection of a Cadaver. Yeah! Dead People! The individual that I have the privilege of working on is affectionately named Blanch. That is that she is quite pale in color. Or at least most of her is. The part of the body that I am working on, the head and neck, is quite dark, probably from post-mortem lividity. I am continuing the work that was started by the students before me who worked on the trunk of the body. They left the trapezium muscle (the big one on the back and shoulder) kind of in pieces so I had to start by sorting out all of those fibers and then working up further. I wound up actually being too deep and going through the trapezium but right above the next layer. I made it up too C1 (the first of the cervical vertebrae) with the muscle before I went back to fish the trap out of the skin layer that I had removed. It was a real pain to separate that thin little layer of muscle out when it’s all floppy like that.

The formaldehyde fumes got to me once or twice but after a while they kind of dissipated. There is a smell to it all, but it really isn’t bad though it seems to linger on the shirt I was wearing. I get really weird looks when I say that. People really don’t like dead people and I gets me to thinking. Does being in the presence of a dead person cause people to consider their own mortality? Is that why it upsets people so much? Biologically and chemically there is nothing really “gross” about it. The contents of that cadaver bag are probably less “gross” than steak package that has sat in your fridge for 3 days. Is it the fact that at one time it was a person? Is it still a person? It is my personal opinion that the soul is really the person and therefore when it leaves, the body is just an empty shell.

I guess there are certain circles that would believe that the resurrection that awaits us as Christians is a literal resurrection of the body and therefore, dissection of ones body would get in the way of said resurrection. I would have to say that requires a rather limited view of God’s power. If he can conquer death, I think that he can re-assemble our bodies if need be. To be quite honest, for someone who is intent on studying the human body, I know very little about what the Bible says about it and its uses and necessity in the “big picture of things.” However, I maintain the view that there are times when the body needs to be healed in order for the soul to be and the converse as well.

Wow, this has become a really long post and covered quite a bit of ground theologically and anatomically. Feel free to weigh in on any of the above issues and/or questions.

I am alive!

2005-01-05T16:06:00.000-08:00

Well it has been a while since I have posted. I have commented on many people's posts, so I figured that I should do the same.

First things first. It is really lonely to be in a single over interterm. Part of it is the fact that I am doing stuff from 8 a.m. to about 4 or 4:30 p.m. I don't get to hang out with the other guys when they get done at 1 or 2 p.m. and when I get done I still have about 2-3 hours of Statistics homework. Currently I am carving into my personal time by writing this. It is good to debrief and de-stress for a moment.

"Intro to Prob and Stats" is going well. It was a bit interesting today. We finished a chapter, and in summation the professor started to talk about different ways to improve the accuracy of a statistic, how further investigation can provide needed information to clarify ambiguity, and then he wound up talking about epistimology and the risks of further knowledge.
Well I thought I was going to write longer... but I am getting rather tired. So I think that I will nap and then take care of my Homework after dinner. So long!

Home again, home again...

2004-12-20T13:18:00.000-08:00

"Home... is where I am not." LOL, My sister told me this on the drive home. I think its abou the best expression of how I feel right now. How do I miss the community, the ability to walk into a lobby or into Bill and find other people doing things, anything. Now I sit at home and remember all the reasons I left. I am actually considering not coming back for Christmas next year though I know not what else I would do.

Yes, I am home and hating a 56k connection, my computer stayed in my dorm room and therefore I have to remember all my passwords and such. Amanda, aka "sister" dropped me off yesterday, hung around for a bit and then headed off to work. She will be back on Thursday. Dad had to drive over to Carson City for something. Mom and Dad thought about going to Reno and staying the night last night on the way there. Invited me to come but I declined hoping that they would go and enjoy themselves. As usual they didn't want to motivate themselves to get up and moving, so nothing materialized.

Been vegging all day. Sleep and read. I have a stack of US News and World reports that hadn't been getting forwarded sitting in my room that I have been reading through. Brought a box of books from school too, but they probably won't get touched for a while. Ironic thing is that as I am regaining my rest, I am thinking about actually going out and doing things... and realizing that there is nothing to do. Dad took me off of the car insurance, so I can't drive. (There was no reason to keep spending $200 when I was only around for 6 weeks or so) This adds another reason to go to Seattle this summer, because living up here without a car STINKS! But other than the satellite TV (which is one nice thing), reading, sleeping and eating (a recipe for adding 5 holiday pounds), here isn't much to do. So to all reading this, comments and questions about life are encouraged as they will give me something to do. Your blogs will also be frequented regularly I have a feeling.

Toodles and Merry Christmas!

Finals... are.... Over

2004-12-17T08:59:00.000-08:00

Semester is over. I don't yet know if this is a good thing. I passed all my classes. I still have to finish my Torrey Paper for one last revision. Its due at 5:00 pm today. We get kicked out of the dorms at 10 pm. I will be headed home at 5:00 am tomorrow.

Chest infections suck! I am coughing up all kinds of good stuff, the worst part is that I know what is going on medically (Its happened often enough) and can do nothing medicine-wise for it 'cept for the OTC meds I am on now.

What is it about this time of year? I am just so lonely for someone to think that I am special. Everyone else has a special someone in one form or another. Caleb has Danielle; it's going to be interesting to hear about him with out her. She is so good for him. Anyways back to where I was. It is this realy indecypherable paradox. Everyones like "Your a smart, talented, caring guy. Well trained in the domesticated arts. You cook, clean, you can even sew if you have too. Your enterprising and going some where." They say all these things... But yet somehow all my interpersonal relationships seem really one sided. It seems like me trying to be nice and caring to others. I take time for their needs, don't get me wrong I enjoy helping people, I enjoy it alot, but I don't see other doing the same and I wish I did. I don't know. Maybe I need to step out of myself. Maybe I am being too selfish. Who knows....

That does seem to be the bad thing about Biola though... There are so many attractive girls who are great. Christians... Really souled out Christian Ladies who want to change the world for Christ. But the last few I have talked to have all seemed to change. "Thing 1" as Timothy, Jason and I refer to her as, was amazing to talk to early on in the semester. I talked to her during the first part of this week and it seemed that she had changed drastically... Not necessarily for the better. There was a demeanor that almost scared me. Made me think though... If we had decided to date, would that change have happened? That would have been bad for a relationship. "Thing 2" seems to have moved on as well. Dispite her words about not wanting to be involved with anyone she seems to be spending a great deal of time with Jon. I understand that feelings change and she may have found something there that we didn't have. But its just like her actions don't seem to match her words that she told me... I have been trying to keep my distance from her as not to complicate the situation. But when we talked the one time after deciding that we didn't want to date, it was hard because I felt like I was doing the input. I was being the caring emotional part. Thats not the way its supposed to work. I'm the guy for crying out loud! I am supposed to be the emotionally retarded jerk, not the one who is doing most of the "checking up on the relationship" stuff. I don't want to play into the steriotype, but if me being sensitive causes her not to be, then what?

Spider Webs

2004-12-17T08:58:00.000-08:00

i wish someone would care about my life
its not to hard, not really
no strings, not hear,
no spiderwebs to get caught up in
sticky trails of silk emotion.

(Why does no one comment on my posts?)

Check out these wheels!

2004-12-12T18:25:00.001-08:00

This is a film project my suite mate put togather.

http://www.bubbs.biola.edu/~thatcher/pimpout.html

He's a Film Major. The star of the production is the Resident Assistant for my Floor. Micah Keepin' it gangsta! Word up SURF!

Pre Med Medic

Soul Ministry

2004-12-11T20:28:00.000-08:00

Mint hot chocolate and cherry turnovers… Seriously, they mend my soul. It is a rare feeling indeed, the feeling I get of warmth that spreads through my body as I sip mint hot chocolate. Add the thin, delectable layers combined with the sweet, smooth filling of a cherry turn over and I am in culinary heaven. Some how when I am in a place no mater how stressful (I would know as finals are in full swing) the drink alone is enough to put my mind at ease and my soul at rest. How is it that baked goods and steaming cups of culinary and confectous delight can have such a great effect on me? Is it something that Starbucks spikes there drinks with? Some magical concoction that bubbles in a kettle in the back of their establishment that the barista must go and stir every once and a while?
There must be something in chocolate that affects our chemistry in order to have such a profound effect on us mere mortals

‘Tis the season! I walk everywhere and there is red and green and pine boughs and holly. There is something about Christmas that seems to resonate with most people. The community alone is a major factor in it. There is something special about being able to wish everyone “Merry Christmas!” as they pass you in at the grocery store or on campus. Sure there are the occasional Scrooge’s who dislike the holiday for what ever reason, the lack of political correctness, the over-commercialization or the theological inaccuracy of the holiday in regards to Christ’s actual birthday, but these people are no reason for the rest of us not to be full of Holiday cheer. So Merry Christmas... Speaking of which I get to go see the last showing of Torrey Theatre's Production of A Christmas Carol tommarrow!

A new level of personal body armor

2004-12-09T23:29:00.000-08:00

I was just asked if I thought that the armor that is issued to the soldiers is adaquate. I said from a medical perspective, the armor given is enough to prevent most life threatening injuries... The head is protected by the Kevlar Ballistic helmet and the majority of the body is covered in the standard flak vest. Frequently this protection is augumented with the addition of Wiley style ballistic eyewear and ceramic plates to the armor vest. These protective measures are life saving but as my previous post illistrated the damage to ones extremities. Other methods may be needed to protect ones extremities and the serious vulnerable points of the current protective material, e.g. the underarm areas of the current flak vest. Such advancements would add a great deal to the quality of life of a casualty after an injury.

The conversation at this point shifted into humor. When I began to meander into the area of further protection of ones person the lower body was taken into consideration along the lines of invcreased quality of life. The idea of a kevlar loin cloth came to mind and was soon extrapolated to a kilt. So there was a motion made that the United states army should addapt current protective equipment to include flak kilts. You could even have different camoflauge to go with different units much to the same extent of one clan tarten. "They may take our lives, but they may never take our FREEDOM!"

The blue face paint probably should be left out though...

On a personal note: I was just informed that two of my friends maintain their "Titanic Virginity." They have managed to make it through their miserable pathetic lives and deprived themselves of a movie. By no means, am I a Leonardo fan nor especially of the movie, but rather the prospect of avoiding a movie based purely on reputation is rather idiotic.

Must continue with my work now... I have to finish a number of essays, ugh!

PremedMedic

A veiw of Military Medicine

2004-12-08T16:49:00.000-08:00

Hey All...
The New England Journal of Medicine just published an article on military medicine.

You can check out the Yahoo! Article here
There is another Yahoo! article about Navy Medicine here
The NEJM article can be found here
The Slide show of photos can be found here

This is for all of you who are considering Military Medicine or may have an interest or appreciation because you know someone involved (corpsman/medic/nurse/doctor). This is the way life works for us. I belong to a Combat Support Hospital very similar to the one pictured (luckily, we are not in Iraq). The remarks made about the limited number of doctors and surgeons is very true. However, something possibly left out by the article is the use of Physicians Assistants to suppliment the medical strength. If you have any further questions on this issue feel free to reply directly to me.

I will caution you that the slideshow on the website does contain some very graphic trauma photos. If you wish to see the infrastructure and avoid the blood and gore only veiw pictures # 1-4, 13-17,19 and 21 (there are some patients receiving care but no wounds).

PreMed Medic
91W Heathcare Specialist
US Army Reserve

Four things a man must learn to do
If He would make his record true:
To think without confusion clearly;
To love his fellow-man sincerely;
To act from honest motives purely;
Trust in God and Heaven securely.
-- Henry Van Dyke, "Four Things,"

Shaken' loose.

2004-10-06T16:04:00.000-07:00

Well I had to wait six months but Uncle Sam has finally decided to do something with my unit. For those of you that don't know, I am a Combat Medic in the Army Reserve and a member of the 328th Combat Support Hospital (Think the old TV show MASH). The Army had us on ALERT status (The first of five steps of deployment, the last step being landing in Baghdad or wherever) and told us to "be ready" because we could receive a mission at any time. Well they finally decided to send part of my unit to Germany. I am not among them. However, if they have decided that we can be better used in pieces than as an entire unit than that means that I could get split off from the main unit and sent to God only knows where. So please pray for the health and peace of the members of the 328th that are going over, that God would be glorified in this. For me, please pray that His Will is done. It’s relatively reassuring to know that I have no part in this decision. It’s totally a God thing if I have to go or not. My will can't get in the way. All I can do now though is be obedient to my immediate calling of being a student here at Biola and prayerfully await anything else.

My Dante Quiz results

2004-10-06T01:46:00.000-07:00

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Extreme
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Very Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

2004-10-03T22:35:00.000-07:00

Took this with my phone

2004-10-03T22:33:00.000-07:00

My Senior Year Picture

Oh, The Depths One Sinks Too.

2004-10-03T21:32:00.000-07:00

Well here comes another week...

I guess I need to introduce my roommate to the wide and wild world of blogging. Troy is a great guy. He got the comment that he looks like Luke Skywalker in "Star Wars: A New Hope." I guess it’s the long blond hair... He is bible major, a "God major" as we joked tonight at dinner. He stays up late. Well, later, than I do anyway. He feels that he needs to be very conscious of his studies; I don't think school comes as easy to him as it does to me.

Anyway, he was out on a GYRAD (Get Your Roommate A Date) with one of the girls (For Possible Future Reference: Hayley) all yesterday so I avoided my room. There’s just too much temptation to be hanging out in my room all day with him not here. That may sound weird; it is my room and all... It should be fine. I have just found out that being here with him gone is just asking for trouble... Well then I proved today that it is. He took off a few hours ago and temptation and sin struck like a coiled viper. It continues to amaze me how my human nature is so vulnerable from all angles especially without someone watching over my shoulder.

Speaking of GYRAD's ours is the 16th of October... I have to think of some one who is "Totally sold out for God" for Troy... I don't know who Troy will hook me up with. That’s the fun part, it’s a secret. We are going to the Getty Art Museum and Ice-cream afterwards. It will be fun and a good time will be had by all.

I have discovered that my daily Bible study (I have decided that is my first priority in the mornings) or staying out of my room when Troy isn't here just isn't enough. I have to take a proactive approach to handling this problem. Please continue to pray for me because this is a new phase of this spiritual battle and though I know that God will win the war... I don't want to be a casualty.

I felt really weird the last few days... Mostly chock it up to the demonic attack I am currently experiencing, but I have just had so much clouded in my mind that I really felt muddled and fuzzy. In addition I felt weak emotionally. I wanted to talk to Brittany (Introduction later) but was really afraid of making a physical move that would injure the relationship. (We agreed that we wouldn't touch [affectionately] or date during our first year here). Luckily, I was able to go up and straighten some stuff out with her on Sat.

I finally got my Acaza (www.acaza.com) Streaming Radio working... This way I don't have the distraction of iTunes up the whole time as I study but still have "good" Christian music that is varied and upbeat. (Yes, there is Rap and Hip Hop... I can hang, G! LOL)

I am slowly realizing that this is a healthy thing... It's probably not as healthy as talking to a good friend. But it suffices for now... I frequently wonder why I don't open up to Troy more, but we have very different backgrounds, interests and styles; maybe I am just not working hard enough at it. We have bursts of spontaneity that are great when we just have a great spiritual discussion or how we are doing.... But it seems that we are just traveling in different circles and schedules. Need to seek the Lord's guidance on that one...

I just remembered I have to be at Life guarding early tomorrow... 9:00 am. That will be fun. We get to watch the Life guard Videos... Actually that Means I can sleep in because I will be able to eat in class! Yeah! LOL.... Silver Linings and all.

Finished off "Phaedo" tonight. Still have Chem. to do before bed. Socrates is an admirable guy... Doesn't get it totally right but comes so close to the Truth that it is painful. Apparently some of the upper class Torrey Chums say that some of the stuff we read later says that Plato gets so close to his search for Truth that he is "saved." Raises an interesting question about the sanctification of pre-Christ gentiles, are they all condemned to Hell because of the fact that chronologically God wasn't speaking to the Gentiles at that point?

The last section of the book is eerily Catholic, with Tarterus being Hell and the rivers as Purgatory and finally ascension. There is a big thrust at re-incarnation, with the way that the deathless soul and indestructible soul being described. It will be interesting to continue. "Symposium" is due Thursday. Then, "Republic" after that for the next three sessions (Tuesday afternoons, Thursday Afternoons). Time to get on with Chem... Probably take me up to Bedtime.

Time keeps slipping, sliping...

2004-09-26T19:06:00.000-07:00

I am not really sure how much time I want to put into this... But I think that it will be a good thing to have. Especially for those moments when I need to vent...

Right now I don’t really feel like reading Meno like I probably need too. I have until Thursday, but I really shouldn't put it off.

I wrote a nice long letter to the editor of The Chimes (For the uninitiated non-Biola people that is the school newspaper) that I will post at the end.

I read on Foxnews.com today that Prince Harry is going to join the British navy. I had to ask one of the guys on my dorm, "would that work in the US? To have the son of the president in the military?" (not specifically looking at the G. W. Bush debacle.) I had the son of an ambassador in my AIT class for Combat Medic School and there was all kind of problems with that. It just makes me wonder if it is actually the position of the relative that is the problem for the kid or is it the upbringing of the kid because of the parents position that makes for bad situations? Will Harry's upbringing, with weekends in Buckingham Palace, etc. adequately prepare him for military life? Will his instructors and superiors compensate or discriminate for that upbringing? Lots of fun questions regarding that situation. Think that I wrote enough for today.

I am now going to post that letter I wrote...

To whom it may concern;
I have attended Biola University for nearly five weeks now and have read all of the published issues of “The Chimes” to date. I am impressed with the overall look of the paper and I recognize the staff’s struggle to present a professional appearance. I have a few but specific issues that I would like to address; the obvious gender dominance in the staff and its affect on story choice and portrayal, the a few obvious errors in spelling or accuracy, and the use of a picture of several magazines in a cover photo when you go on to decry the magazines place in the Biola community due to their picture content..
I spoke with one of “The Chimes” students as they were administering a survey of church attendance, about the disproportionate number of guys to gals on the staff and received the following response, “Do we hire guys who are less enthusiastic or less skilled, or girls who are enthusiastic and excellent writers?” The individual makes a very valid point that skill and enthusiasm should have greater precedence in staffing than gender. However, to do that they assume that guys are less enthusiastic and less skilled than girls in that area. The bias makes itself known in predominantly in the choices of sources for articles rather than in the articles themselves. For example, the furniture article in this week’s edition, the interviewed students were 3 female to one male, the subjects of the photo were female. This is not to say that gender has anything to do with furniture, but rather to point out a subtle trend that transcends furniture and leave guys feeling a little disenfranchised. Toss in relatively polar argument pieces like “Should guys wear shirts?” and “Pornography issues on campus” and this subtle trend becomes a very easy escape mechanism for the skeptics to completely blow off a good piece of journalism as a “sexist rant.”
While small, the errors in question are an issue more because of their placement rather than frequency. For example, in your Campus Talk piece two weeks ago you quoted a student as having been “at the Homor reading.” The mistake was blatant only because it was set apart from the page and in bold type. The second instance is on the most recent addition and I think deserves an article of clarification, along with a possible explanation of what the “Reserve/Guard” commitment entails (I am a reservist and wouldn’t mind writing that article if possible). It is highly doubtful that Specialist Leon is in an “Arisol” unit, but rather is being deployed with an “Air Assault Infantry” unit such as the 101st Airborne Division. For a photo caption that was above the fold on the front page, this was a mistake that should have been resolved with the source way before publication. The last point, which shares a
general public outcry, is rather multifaceted as it must deal with the photograph and the article in question. First, the rational for such a photo to be published let alone center of the front page escapes me. What is the point made by illustrating a weakness among a portion of the student body by publishing a photo that feeds that weakness? Second, the scope of the article surprised me, as the article chose to demonstrate a pervasive problem with a very limited example. That example, I feel was not adequate to describe the immensity of the problem and rather could have confused readers who had a limited understanding of the problem to begin with. Lust is a major issue both in our nation and on Biola campus, it is not bound by gender nor is it limited to the printed page. There was very little light shed on the roots of the problem itself. Take for example the recent New York Times Magazine article, the author sought out a member of the Biola Community who was a homosexual in an effort to get to a deeper understanding of the issue, not just what the school had to say or the average student, but rather by one who is affected. There are a number of resources that could have been tapped as a source, anonymously if necessary. I would like to repeat that I am very impressed with the dedication of The Chimes to being a good newspaper. I think that in many ways you have seceded. I just encourage you to take it up-a-notch. Go deeper with your stories. Diversify and step out of your comfort zones, I believe it will make for better writers, better reading and a better paper.