The Air of Responsibility...

So I am sitting in front of my grandfathers old 133 MHz Pentium computer, having finally mustered enough patience to wait out the loading time on Blogger on its 33.6 kbps dial-up modem. As such I shall attempt to keep this brief (under 5 pages, as I am making up for losts time) for all my loyal readers whose lives have been lacking their regular infusion of Payton-isms.

The Goings On-
My near future: I have been at my grandparent’s house for the past two weeks. I leave for Priest Lake, ID on Tuesday to meet up with the parents and my Uncle Jim and Aunt Judy (on my fathers side). I will spend a few days with the gang there and try to cram some Dante reading in before I head back to Biola for three weeks of "The Academy". Then my future remains undecided.

Undecided: Much has happened since my return from Europe. I have put out about 40 resumes and applications in the greater Seattle area in hopes of finding a job somewhere in the vicinity of my family here. In the process of anticipating a possible move, I have located an apartment (a studio) right across from the Microsoft campus in North Bellevue and a church at Overlake Christian Church that’s only another 3 miles down the road. This would put me less than a mile from Grandma and Grandpa and only about 5 minutes from one set of aunt and uncle (moms side). The only problem is I don't have a definite job (Retail Sales at Eddie Bauer looks good, but I am not sure they will pay enough). I have this tremendous feeling that this is really where I am supposed to be next year, but am unsure if that is enough for me to put the wheels in motion to make the move up here. I could start at the EB job and then move on if something else comes along, but that’s rather risky. It compounds the risk I already put myself in by purchasing "interview" clothes (Two suits, on clearance, shirt and tie combos and shoes that I am currently wearing, hence the "air of responsibility") that cost a fair amount of money. I pretty much have all my preverbal cards stacked up here in the northwest and if the table shakes the wrong way there is a distinct chance it would all fall apart and I would be left at square one with a months time down the tubes. I am worried that I could have been doing this out of my own will, and ignoring God's. I don't think that’s the case, but with the amount of risk, I can't help feeling a bit afraid. I can tell He is working in this situation, has been faithful in the past (Bringing the family to Woodleaf, putting me in the Army, me going to Biola) and will work all this together for good, but it is definitely stretching my faith.

I wish I would have asked more questions when people told me that growing up was hard, especially on how to make it easier (if that’s ever possible...).

Please be praying for the following:
-Peace about decisions made to date, budgetary, academically, etc.
-God providing a job that pays $16/hour, which I know is stiff for a first year college student, but that’s what I will need to make budget with ought living off Top Ramen and Mac and Cheese next year (which I am prepared to do), but its the indicator I have been praying for that this is the right place for me.
-The upcoming Academy; that high school students would learn to ask good questions of others and themselves.
-Future counseling sessions that they would be productive in identifying and providing potential solutions for some of my psychological baggage and that God's grace and healing power would be evident through that.
-The ministry possibilities in this year off, either to my family up here in Seattle (most of whom have rather ambiguous relationships with the Lord at best) or to a yet to be revealed individual or group; so that as God works in my life, I can share that experience with others.